You Smile, But You Wanna Cry. You Talk, But You Wanna Be Quiet. You Pretend Like Your Happy, But You Aren’t.
It’s these days were i feel at my most vulnerable or down as it’s the special days when i have no one to say happy Easter followed by a soft kiss that has a meaning to it.
I should be use to this as i have done it for over 20 years plus, but i just can not get the gift of on special occasions through out the year were i’m on my own. Yes i have my kids and grandkids which help but that special lady were i can enjoy being with her and each other’s company is missing. Lol an understatement truly in so many ways… I all ways know as the day before Easter, Christmas, Birthday, Father’s Day, Mother Day or where i just want to be happy in myself i have a bad one depressed to know extreme.
The art to depression is think happy set goals and don’t show any one that maybe your not at the top of your world, yes i keep a lot to myself but i think a lot and i work on we’re i can improve as a human being or a person, do you know there is a saying that nice guys always come last maybe there is some truth in that, one who fucking knows but i sort of understand the terminology of unlucky man.
What Comes Easy Won’t Last Long, And And What Lasts Long Won’t Come Easy.
Keep Going Everything You Need Will Come To You At The Perfect Time.
Difficult Roads Lead To Beautiful Destinations )( Now that is a saying one of friends wife would say to me all the time now )( Mags do you know that good things come to those wait… for me the longer i wait for someone special ill certainly appreciate her and look after her like gold… i just have a small minute problem and i believe that down the road that time will be against me.
A meaningful silence is always better than a lot of words that would be meaningless any way, so that is why a lot of people that are down and depressed you find they keep it to them selfs were they don’t talk about the dark side of their minds, because there is a dark side to depression some of it darker that othere’s, but for what ever reason they try not to what i call bother anyone that’s why i go to a shrink i pay them to listen to my shit and problems.
I call my self luck to a lot of people as my problem is small but it’s mine and one that i do hope it’s not for ever my darkest dream is dying on my own it scares me to feel that i have no one next to me enjoying my last bit of life, not that it is enjoying but you know what i mean…music is a good one that helps so im buying a guitar and going to learn how to play blues Haha blues Mmm that cracks me but it’s better than opera, i like writing that helps as well so i do this and writing a book it keeps my mind active and it is a good way for me to let it out as i know no one really listens which is good in some ways…so for me it’s keep doing what i;\’m doing and believe that my life time friend or lover is just around the corner.. i hope the corner dose not go for ever lol.