Scientists all over the world have there theories on your dreams, the meanings of them how they represent you, how you are feeling at the time, if your depressed, angry over an occurrence in your life, sadness’s, a loss of a love one, happiness or new love… mmmm there’s that fucking word .. love.. haha.LOL…
I been having these weird Dreams but two in particular for about 4 to 5 months, I’ve spoke to my shrink she reckons it’s a bit of a worry, I go to her once a week when I’m on break good to blah blah to her my thoughts and feelings can’t talk to my kids about them, but I do pay her well for an hour session hahaha, she does seem to listen to me.
Back to the dreams i regularly have…. No 1) …. I live with my kids an in my nineties I’m watching my kids grow and progress in life which is very good , the great thing is my grandkids I grow with them and have the best relationship with them every thing seems good.
Then comes that time as it will to all of us one day, I start going down hill as god saids it’s time Paul, well I have a bit of an argument with that I’m not ready I want to be with the kids for a bit longer. As I’m dying the kids are really busy so I book myself into hospital do the righteous for then.
I’m laying in my death bed for about two weeks no visitors at all, my worst nightmare is occurred Im dying on my own. And then I’m up in the corner of the ward looking at me laying in the bed with the realisation I’m dead, the nurse come in puts the sheets over me turns of the machine casually walks out, know one comes in to see me.
The big day comes I’m getting buried the setting is on top of a hill under a very old oak tree I’m sitting in a branch looking down on me waiting, three hours pass no one turns up at all, no one at all family friends none, Two grave diggers stroll in have a laugh how well I was loved lower me down in the grave an go. I sit there for days no one comes.
No 2)….. I have mentioned several times how close I am to my kids especially my daughter. Some were a long the line my daughter and I have a major blew like we have never Had before, with words you are a fucking burden to us here dad time to go. I’m sixty two time to go I book into a singles home for over 40 years no one visits me as if I never existed in there lives.
Every birthday, easter, Christmas no one turns up no cards cakes nothing. And then I turn a 100 again as I sit in the chair near the window looking out, I sensor some one standing behind me, it’s my daughter we just look at each other nothing is said, tears flow out off both of us I look at her knowing how much I love her and she does as well, we do it for ages she turns and walks out sobbing I just sit and weep never to see her again.
Now what makes me worry a bit is that I have woken up in different situations, Like standing up in the corner of my room with my rugs folded, sitting on the floor in my chair, I have waked up tears flowing or silently sobbing to myself and I’m very silent as they feel so reall to life, I know there dreams but two that hurt me and have them regularly. I do have other dreams but they seem to come up couple of times a week don’t know why I feel I’m doing ok in life and the love we have as dad, pop with the kids is excellent.
I know that I will all ways love my kids an especially my daughter I hope that never happens and as for dying on my own I’ll never know, but then if anything it could be reality but only in the heart with that special lady, I find life has many challenges even with dreams do they mean any thing do they predict our future is there a message being told, I’ll never know or work it out I just know I wake up every day walk out to the kitchen and see my Grandkids and my daughter and love that part of my life, as for my dreams they will change for the better hahaha LOl life goes on.