Sometimes i go into what i call deep thinking, don’t know why but i do.
What would be the Highest & Lowest point of my life.
Mmm good question ? Id say iv’e had a few over many years off my life.. Id say if i was to optimize my Highs.. Watching my kids been born is pretty much up there it’s certainly one worth being there for, Winning Grand Finals as a player and coach, being selected for state Baseball & Swimming representing your state in sports was certainly a thrill.
Watching my kids grow with their lives is a great part of life highs, especially if you get on with your kids really well, the grandson is a buzz in life Wow that so good. Mmm just a few short ones.. riding in rally car with the third best driver in Australia at the time Ross Duncan that was a rush, doing a 5 second pass in a door slammer with Victor Bray on a quarter mile track, and 5 off the fastest laps with the late Peter Brook at Wanneroo race track in the v8’s supercars.
To finish off taking oft on a 12 to 15 foot wave and carving it, beating nature in the ocean is a pretty good high, like coming out of a deep very deep stand up tube is a great buzz, is right up there in surfing.. I have a few highs in more ways than one but all good there just a few that i could think off.
Lowest point of my Life.
It’s not one i have to think about to much.. I’m sort coming out of one now, a terrible 15 months plus of my upmost, my lowest point of my life thats for sure, iv’e had some low points.. wife leaving me that was pretty down there, loosing friends with the C word or finishing them selfs off for a reason they only know. Not haven a relationship for over 20 years is one that gets me down when i think about it, but i seem to do nothing in turning that around, this is a low point at the moment as i don’t know how to turn it around.
Working for 30 years plus and then all of a sudden your on the unemployment line, going to the food bank to eat, begging finance companies to help you why your going through this hard time in life, being told no to over a hundred and forty seven jobs you have applied for, made to feel your a piece of fucking shit through being what they called scrap heap to the work force Your Age. No one really cared and no won really wanted to know you in case i might have asked for a hand, well fuck them as i’m slowly getting back, a long way to go but i can pay my rent, bills and hold my head up. Haven my own house or an investment for the future is a personal low it’s just how i feel with in myself.
Personal success in Life.
Measuring up success of life can be measured in so many way, mine would be one as a personal one in my heart not so much in the bank account or investments i have occurred over life.
Id say through helping people and coaching in many sports, is my success as how iv’e helped people towards their goals and achievements towards what they have wanted to achieve. Iv’e made humans of all ages smile with happiness as i dish up a meal that wouldn’t have got the meal if it wasn’t being a part of special group of people in helping the homeless and more unfortunate than the average person, turned young teenagers, or adults around off the drugs, alcohol and depression being there for them when life has gone bad to a core.. to me thats my achievements of personal success.
Who am i really, do i have a mask to hide behind.
I can say in or honestly with the reality of me, i do not hide behind a mask with life, as the saying goes ( what’s hiding in the cupboard ) nothing.
This one i feel all through my life iv’e been – Me Just Me, can it be the right or wrong thing, and how do we know if it’s the mask people want. Can i measure it with the amount friends i have, the people that come into my life and go through the exit for what ever reason. How do we know who we are and if it’s the right one..
Id say there is only one person that can answer that in such a manner and it’s one iv’e learnt all my life, i’m the one thats got to be happy with what i see how i feel, do i make me happy when i look in the mirror and the only person i know that can really answer that is the one starring back at me. I might not pleased, impressed, been astounding for every one i meet, coach or work with in life, in saying that for every 6 new people you meet i’m sure one is not going to be there flavour of the month, can’t please every one.. it’s funny i certainly don’t aim to do that.. i just aim to be me, take me for who i am, understand who i am, enjoy what i have to offer or can offer, but all ways know my philosophies, reflections, opinions, thoughts, theories, outlooks, sarcasm, perspectives mean no harm in any way it’s just Me.
Where’s my life heading.
As i sat at the Dome haven my treat for the week looking around in deep place of thought on an outlook of the question that has hindered my little mind for a while but it pops up more when i’m a lone, were is my Life Heading ? . Such a good question it really is.. It’s one that i try to answer on a good note, but all so understand and been there were it can change in a matter of a minute.
It will happen.. believe in life and don’t be content with what i have look at going another step forward with my life.
For me i have so much ahead off me in life to go.. i’m not were i want to be and yes there are so many more challenges and directions i need to do.. Am i happy in one way yes.. id like to find the meaning of true happiness, true love and content, but i want to be another step further in life as in being more successful in me, keep meeting new people and friends, keep helping and making people of all ages happy.
I ask my self do i want too much.. nah far fucking from it, i know there is another challenge for me and another project, and fuck the people that say age is a barrier that holds you back… as i keep working on going forward in life wright at this moment get back on my feet slowly and keep looking for opportunity to get to my goals… enjoy life at the fullest be successful for me..and only me.