Id comfortably to say i’m a deep thinker and all ways looking with-in the way i can improve my quality of life for me. One thing that has reregistered In my thoughts is the quality of living for me at the moment and were i see my self in the future.
Yes i was seriously looking at taking this gym on in a big way, as i love working and helping people with their lives.. I went to the bank in applying to see if i can get a loan knowing id be dept again but with the thought i had something to work towards too.
Friday got an email from the bank manager.. sorry we have to decline the loan, the main reason i really have nothing to offer with land or a home on the loan, polite way of saying your poor Hahaha Lol.. i haven’t a problem with that as i get older i look at every thing is done for a reason and i understand, with the consumption of not being in dept is all good no extra pressure.
I spoke to my mum yesterday and with some pretty in-depth words of wisdom that i except from my mum as she understands me and can see i’m not happy with in the situation of my life at the moment. As she said i can see you are not in control of your life Paul and finding it hard to find the directions of life., as much as id miss you not floating in to catch up with me.. go were your heart would be happy, live a less stressed life in an environment were you can find peace with living more comfortable with the same amount of money your earning in the city.. My family are supporting the move, It’s funny even at my age my mum wants to see me happy and be me.. we looked at each other with a smile knowing it’s time for me to go again and get out of the city.
I find in life it’s good to look at different ways with thoughts of were and how you can improve with challenges, dreams, and ambitions to life, can’t be fucking boring in our lives seriously, do i have much, have i gone the wrong directions or am i following the right maps, do i find life hard to be content with, i understand i’m a lonely guy when it comes to love with a lady and partner of my life, but i have excepted the loneliness as it’s been 20 years, as so many of you have said in your blogs learn to be happy and love yourself for who you are and with that love will come. It might happen and it might not but i need to be happy in my self and with the life i live.. it’s not happening in the city i don’t have to a maths scholar to realize that Lol.
I do like the idea of writing a book or books and world blogs as the head will be better with open thoughts and imagination that goes free, fishing , riding bikes through the trails be healthy of the land growing veggies, beach walks on tranquility beaches, living with nature we don’t see in the city, the great thing is knowing the people i know that look at life in a simple way, relaxed more, free with the land, and enjoy every day you wake up.. thats a big key missing in my life enjoying every day i wake up, don’t get me wrong i’m so glad i wake up every day and see my grandson, kids, family and friends.. but it’s with in me thats missing that is the important part of living is the way i feel inside myself.
Our plan is February 2020, with in the next six months i need to work on me with finances, health, with a clearer mind for a transaction to start off a new chapter in life.
Looking forward to a new chapter and the challenges of my life, it’s amazing to think how i think some times Lol, but id rather be like that than just except the way it is now.