Love = It’s a subject I know little about, is it through been arrogant to it, or just don’t believe in it or if it does happens.
None of the above it’s basically through been on my own for over 20 years since my wife left me just turning 40′ the saying 40 is the prime and the start of your life Lol. In my case it turned out to be hardest next 5 years of my life, but another story or have I told it a long the line I think I have, short.. wife left me and I took the kids and still got them HaHaHa.
I remember I did not handle it at all.. in fact really bad I went counselling for over 5 years first 3 twice a week not because I had the kids either I do love them so much there my life.. It was because I didn’t understand the reason of my wife leaving me, she believes we grew apart over the years. Is love blind maybe it is as I did not see that coming. I really can say that I loved Maree so much I thought she was the best thing since slice bread and I used to eat a lot of that.
I lived down Denmark which is 5 hours down south from Perth and a beautiful spot not the warmest but the most intriguing piece of green amazing land seen with some of the biggest swells seen coming through the Great Southern ocean. All my family and friends lived in Perth I made a lot of new friends and still are today but it wasn’t the same, to me I often think about it I was truly in love with a women that not only I looked at as my partner the kids mother but my best mate.
We were together for 20 years and certainly 20 of the best we were like any other couple went through the good times and bad but we seem to have this uncanny way of working them out, we worked & party hard our house was called the half way house as every one would be there at some time of the day and night. Both of us were brought up well with good moral families and we hadn’t experienced to many heart breaks with friends and family either, so it was good.. life was good.
There is the saying you can take life for granted maybe I did take Maree for granted thinking she would be there for ever, life until I died any way. For what ever reason that it happened I never ever for gave her for nearly 10 years before I even would think about forgiveness, I would make her toot the horn when she picked up the kids and drop them off when we shifted back in Perth.
I had divorce papers given to me with in 2 months through a lawyer friend he pushed them through quick thinking he was doing us a favour, the next day I sold my wedding ring and every bit of jewellery that I had, cut all photos or burnt them on the fire any thing that represented Maree was gone.. I often think did I go over the top with my reaction to it not sure she broke my soul, friendship and heart Na I didn’t kill her Lol.
We had 2 beautiful kids and I look at them as my world to this day and love them so much I can argue rant and rave at them but no one else can.. mmm do I do that don’t think so Lol. My daughter sat me down one day as she does I can feel the daughter lecture to dad coming Lol.. Some one has too HaHa but dad u need to let go and get on with your life we need to be a family again even if it is in different ways and the way we live, 10 years is a long time not to forgive but destroying a love for some one so special is the same in a round way.
I will say I have never regretted the 20 years we were together they were so good and so may memories ill never forget, I’m saying she was truly a very special lady had a heart as big as mount Everest would help every one and any one when the call was out. My family and friends love her couldn’t understand the reason.. as I won’t say i’m the best man in the world far from it I certainly have habits good and bad and can be hard to understand as I keep every thing inside for ages but she was and is special to so many people and me. I’m glad she has gone forward in life with new hubby and life didn’t want to see her destroyed, but me don’t know why still struggle in life and haven’t loved or had some one love me in 20 years been on my Owen.
The question I ask do I want to love and be loved again… I do so much as I get older I miss it more more.. the friendship, mate ship and to be loved and love again would make all the problems seem so small, I think the hardest thing is for me I have forgot to do and be it’s something i’m finding very hard, do I feel sorry for me.. no confused and baffled not understanding, but in saying that life is still in front of me and I need to keep moving on until I work out the puzzle of LOVE.